Conspiracies

So I decided I'm going to write a conspiracy theory book/website/make Youtube videos. It amazes me the incompetence of some people and their readiness to accept the most ridiculous of conspiracies/hoaxes/rumors with the slightest bit of information behind it. I'm on this politics forum at the Georgia Varsity Sports Vent (totally fun because it's full of dumb conservative rednecks) and since joining, I've learned that Barack Obama is actually a gay Muslim crackhead who quite possibly is the anti-Christ. Not even joking. 

It was posted the other day that this guy, Larry Sinclair, is claiming to have had gay sex and smoked crack with Obama back in 1999. And as "proof" he's going to take a polygraph test. This, on its face, is stupid. Polygraph agencies claim that they have about a 90% accuracy rate, but this is kind of akin to cigarette companies getting researchers behind them to say that tobacco doesn't cause cancer. Independent, peer-reviewed research by over 400 psychologists gave an average accuracy rate of 61%. Keep in mind that random chance dictates you're going to guess if somebody's lying 50% of the time. So basically polygraphs are a little bit better than guessing. Anyway, I looked into these polygraph claims of his. Turns out, a representative of www.whitehouse.com offered him $10,000 to take the polygraph test, and a $100,000 bonus if he passes it. I did a little background as to the registrar of the website - turns out it's a guy named Dan Parisi who lives in New York. 295 Greenwich Street Suite 184, New York, New York 10007 to be exact. Turns out he runs over 600 other websites full of false, slanderous information about celebrities, politicians, and other people in the public eye. But even in the face of all this evidence that shows that those claims were completely bogus, the dumb impressionable rednecks still wouldn't recant. Amazing. 

So I decided I'm starting a conspiracy theory book about how a bunch of people are conspiring to end the world, and people should give me all their money to build a rocket ship to the Moon so me and all the people who believe me can survive. All I have to do is put in a bunch of stuff about Jews controlling the media, Masonic rituals and a pentagram made by connecting random government offices on a satellite map of Washington D.C., the Rockefeller and Rothschild families, and a few select quotes from the Book of Revelation. First I'll release a poorly edited Youtube video narrated by myself in an overly monotone voice, zoom up on a bunch of grainy photos from 9/11 in Photoshop, and put some old, out of context quotes from Woodrow Wilson floating next to black and white pictures of old people nobody recognizes about the Federal Reserve, and top it off with something about "the Man" or the "New World Order". It's fucking fool-proof. After that I'll start my own website and get all kinds of advertising revenue, release a book and sell it over the internet. I'll say I can only sell it over the internet because publishing agencies and book stores would get shut down by "the Establishment" for selling my book, because everybody knows that "the Establishment" can influence multi-million dollar corporations way easier than they can shut down a website run by a college student. 

So, here's your Kool-Aid, friends. Bottoms up!