Conspiracies

So I decided I'm going to write a conspiracy theory book/website/make Youtube videos. It amazes me the incompetence of some people and their readiness to accept the most ridiculous of conspiracies/hoaxes/rumors with the slightest bit of information behind it. I'm on this politics forum at the Georgia Varsity Sports Vent (totally fun because it's full of dumb conservative rednecks) and since joining, I've learned that Barack Obama is actually a gay Muslim crackhead who quite possibly is the anti-Christ. Not even joking. 

It was posted the other day that this guy, Larry Sinclair, is claiming to have had gay sex and smoked crack with Obama back in 1999. And as "proof" he's going to take a polygraph test. This, on its face, is stupid. Polygraph agencies claim that they have about a 90% accuracy rate, but this is kind of akin to cigarette companies getting researchers behind them to say that tobacco doesn't cause cancer. Independent, peer-reviewed research by over 400 psychologists gave an average accuracy rate of 61%. Keep in mind that random chance dictates you're going to guess if somebody's lying 50% of the time. So basically polygraphs are a little bit better than guessing. Anyway, I looked into these polygraph claims of his. Turns out, a representative of www.whitehouse.com offered him $10,000 to take the polygraph test, and a $100,000 bonus if he passes it. I did a little background as to the registrar of the website - turns out it's a guy named Dan Parisi who lives in New York. 295 Greenwich Street Suite 184, New York, New York 10007 to be exact. Turns out he runs over 600 other websites full of false, slanderous information about celebrities, politicians, and other people in the public eye. But even in the face of all this evidence that shows that those claims were completely bogus, the dumb impressionable rednecks still wouldn't recant. Amazing. 

So I decided I'm starting a conspiracy theory book about how a bunch of people are conspiring to end the world, and people should give me all their money to build a rocket ship to the Moon so me and all the people who believe me can survive. All I have to do is put in a bunch of stuff about Jews controlling the media, Masonic rituals and a pentagram made by connecting random government offices on a satellite map of Washington D.C., the Rockefeller and Rothschild families, and a few select quotes from the Book of Revelation. First I'll release a poorly edited Youtube video narrated by myself in an overly monotone voice, zoom up on a bunch of grainy photos from 9/11 in Photoshop, and put some old, out of context quotes from Woodrow Wilson floating next to black and white pictures of old people nobody recognizes about the Federal Reserve, and top it off with something about "the Man" or the "New World Order". It's fucking fool-proof. After that I'll start my own website and get all kinds of advertising revenue, release a book and sell it over the internet. I'll say I can only sell it over the internet because publishing agencies and book stores would get shut down by "the Establishment" for selling my book, because everybody knows that "the Establishment" can influence multi-million dollar corporations way easier than they can shut down a website run by a college student. 

So, here's your Kool-Aid, friends. Bottoms up!

Irony

Am I the only person that finds it ironic that the same people who spend millions of dollars each year on anti-abortion campaigns also argue vehemently against governmental healthcare for children? I mean, we've got the highest infant mortality rate of any modernized country in the world. And lower than a lot of industrializing countries as well. I mean, we're lower than Cuba and Latvia. 

I just find it interesting that you can be SO enthusiastic about keeping a baby through to term, but when it's time to feed, clothe, and nourish that child, you're out the fucking door. I understand the argument against universal healthcare, but I cannot and never will understand the argument about denying healthcare to children. The parents have the ability to "pull themselves up by their own bootstraps" or whatever (never understood that metaphor, by the way, because I have no boots with straps on them nor can somebody actually pull themselves up by straps in the first place) but a child cannot be held accountable for their parents' incompetence. 

People always seem to make the connection that if we have universal healthcare we're automatically a socialist state, as if a single governmental service constitutes socialism. Newsflash: we have plenty of socialized services. Education, water, social security, Medicare, Medicaid, police departments, fire departments, the list goes on and on. People will in turn come back and say "well those aren't sustainable services in the private sector, you can't make a profit." What's more accurate is that those services aren't sustainable if you want to extend them to everybody, like they should be, and like healthcare should be. Obviously we have private schools, private security firms, private insurance, et cetera, which are ALL profitable when you only extend them to a certain sector of an economy. However, these are all services that everybody deserves, and everybody deserves healthcare as well. That's why the government offers those services to all people, and that's why the government should offer healthcare to all people. 

What's also interesting to note is that states with the highest conservative rates and the highest rates of evangelicals nearly uniformly have the highest teen pregnancy rates, the highest divorce rates, and the highest domestic abuse rates. So much for "family values". Massachusetts is the only state with full same-sex marriage, and also has the lowest divorce rate in the entire country. Damn queers, ruining marriage for everybody. 

Every child has a right to life, but let 'em fend for themselves when they're born. If the newborn doesn't like it, they can get off their lazy asses and go get health insurance. 

Elections and Football

Has anybody noticed that election coverage is eerily similar to play-by-play narration of football games by people like John Madden and Terry Bradshaw? It's all like, "Obama pulled a Virginia sweep and stormed the black voters and GOT A FUCKIN' TOUCHDOWN!!" 

Not really, but you get the point. It's gotten so ridiculous now that they have the same little screens you can draw on that John Madden uses to incoherently draw out any given play. I swear John Madden is either drunk or has had a stroke that was covered up. But I must say Wolf Blitzer is a bit more attractive than John Madden - that werewolf look is hot. Almost like a white-haired Wolverine. 

But anyway, Obama is totally going to rock the rest of the election. He needs roughly 840 delegates to win and there are still about 1700 to be selected. He's been taking states left and right and all he needs is to take about 10% more of the total delegates than Hillary. On the trajectory he's on now, that will be simple. Hillary's putting all her eggs in Texas and Ohio, relying on a Hispanic vote that is starting to turn over to Obama. Interesting note is that Obama actually won among women in the three primaries today and overwhelmingly among black voters. Affluent white voters also tend to go for Obama. Note also that he's taken most of the Southern and Midwest states, so he could very well take Texas and Ohio by a decent margin. Time will tell.

Meanwhile he's ahead in Wisconsin who has a primary next week as well as in Hawaii, where he grew up. About 100 delegates to be selected by those two states. It all keeps adding up...Obama might not even need to win Texas or Ohio, merely to pull about 40-45% of the delegates from there. He seems poised to win the vast majority of the remaining states. 

Si se puede!

About procrastination...

Will finish this blog later. 

Gothic/emo/scene/whatever people and hypocrisy

So why is it that people try to be all "individual" simply by looking different. Clearly, as we all know, the way to be different is TOTALLY based on how you look. I'm unique, original, dark and brooding - you can tell because of the innumerable chains hanging from my pants. I always laugh when people always talk about how "you all look the same"...look in a mirror. You and all of your "gothic" friends look the same. You're just conforming to a different stereotype.

Get the fuck over yourselves. When you break it down, all those "unique" and "original" clothes were designed, marketed, and selected specifically for YOU by the same corporate drones who put out all the Hollister shit long before you found them in Hot Topic. Which leads to another point - your individuality is the same pre-packaged shit that comes out of the same pre-packaged mall as everybody else's. The Hot Topic you bought your shit from is a whopping 75 feet from the American Eagle. So cut all the shit about "the Man" when you're supporting "the establishment" just as much as everybody else, whether you realize it or not. Because any way you slice it, you're still a dumbass for paying $75 for a pair of fucking pants.

Listening to Marilyn Manson/Panic! At the Disco/HIM/Slipknot does not mean you have a unique taste in music. Fuckin' newsflash, people: all these bands have sold millions upon millions of copies. Congratulations, you've joined the exclusive club of about 5 million people, not to mention the untold millions more who just downloaded all the shit illegally and are therefore not counted in the number of people actually having paid for the music.

Now I understand that some of you just like to look a certain way or whatever - fuckin sweet. Right on. But don't try to act like you're any more unique or original than anybody else because of something so shallow as your appearance. Seriously, trying to convince somebody that what you wear somehow makes you any different just makes you look like a giant bag of douche.

Thus ends my observations on how most people regardless of wardrobe are stupid and shallow.

True

So I've broken down and finally decided to create one of these blog things. 

I decided I'm only going to write about interesting things, which of course is the object of any blog, except this is going to be totally true for me. Because I always read blogs about what kind of sandwich people ate that day and how it took them forever to do their laundry, and I'm left to muse how shitty of a life they must have, and furthermore how shitty my own life must be that I waste my time reading about other people's mundane daily activities. So if I ever write a blog including anything about what I ate (excluding stories about me eating things and throwing them up later, because those are always good stories, and no I'm not talking about bulimia) or how difficult it was to pick out my clothes for the day, promptly punch me in the stomach. 

Anyway, I had a fish taco for dinner and did my laundry today. Check back later.